I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
