Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
