There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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