Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
