Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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