discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
