I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
