also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
