apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize