Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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