I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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