This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
