you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
