i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
