I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize