yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Randomize
