it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
