It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
what day is it and did you see me today?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
