on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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