Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize