Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
