Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
