Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
