Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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