So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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