Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize