Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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