Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
