she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
