well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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