you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
