I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
