just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
