i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
