I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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