12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
