Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
