So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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