4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
