I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
