It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
