yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
