Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
