I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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