How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
