i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
