And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
