just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize