You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it's like iHOP with fire
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
