Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
