If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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