btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
