I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
