I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just cut my nipple shaving
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
