yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
