How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
