Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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