I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is the high leading the old right now
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
