all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize