I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
