I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My feet surprised me
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