one two three fourrrrnication!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
