If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
