also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
