On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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