He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
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