Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
