but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
