Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
